Communication is messy. Even when you think you've been clear as crystal there's room for miscommunication. Ask ten people in a room to imagine a blue ball and they'll all visualize different shades of blue: pale blue, royal blue, light blue, dark blue, etc. There are as many kinds of blue as there are people and each of those blues represent something different to the person doing the visualizing. There’s a communication model that says anytime two people are speaking there are actually six people involved:
1. Who you are
2. Who you think you are
3. Who they think you are
4. Who they are
5. Who they think they are
6. Who you think they are
While it’s not practical to keep all these influences in mind during a conversation it is a useful tool to develop empathy, contextualize feedback and anticipate the needs of creative partners, friends, family, etc. As you get to know someone these six personalities reconcile but in most relationships it is the blend of identities that represent who we are and how we see the people around us.